I appreciated Irate Nate's recent post, "a child's place". It is encouraging to read well-written explanations of the reasons why we do things the way we do; the ones I am able to provide are often inadequate, so it is good to find like-minded believers who are up to the task.
I was reflecting briefly this morning during the service on the benefits to our children of staying with us in the service rather then sending them to their own separate time. I don't doubt the sincerity of my fellow believers who advocate a separate children's church; neither do I doubt its efficacy at reaching its desired goal, whatever such may be.
But when I look at my 6yo and see him taking notes while listening to the sermon, and know how little effort it really took to get him to this point, I really question the wisdom of training children to expect a message at "their own level." What are we really trying to accomplish here? And how does children's church accomplish it? Would he really be better served if he were singing a kids' song and participating in a kindergarten-level activity somewhere in another part of the building, rather than learning to be attentive to the Word preached clearly and accurately, without euphemism or metaphor or some other trick intending to make it more understandable but which might distort it, however innocently? (Whew, that was a run-on if I've ever written one!)
I think the greater issue is that for many children -- even children of believers -- Sunday is the only day they will hear the Word. They aren't learning verses through the week, reading through the Bible with their families, asking questions about and getting answers from God's Scriptures as part of their daily routine. And if I'm right about this, then children's church is not the answer.
Posted by jsoulfood at September 23, 2007 03:23 PMDefinitely food for thought.
We separated our daughter from us when we went to church, but looking back, I realised I didn't care for that. With our son, the only time he has gone into the nursery during church is when my husband and/or I are/am on nursery duty. Now my daughter sits with us in church. As a 2.5 year old, she squirms, wiggles, and talks, but she's getting better. :) Hopefully my son will learn more quickly since he's been in there from day one.
Posted by: Amanda at September 25, 2007 11:36 PMI have seen many children who were forced to sit quietly through church, turn away from the church as soon as they were given (or took!) the freedom to do so.
Having children in adult worship service is NO substitute for worshipping as a family outside of 'church'.
There is a misinterpretation of the children coming to Jesus if you use that passage to support keeping children in adult worship services. That passage does however reinforce the fact that we should be more focused and intentional about engaging kids in worship rather than making them sit through an adult service where they often are not engaged (yes, there are always exceptions).
I agree more with following comments. Notice there are no judgmental comments or telling fellow Christians they disobeying God by teaching their children to be actively involved in worship.
A strong children's worship service serves the needs of parents and children. Parents benefit from having an uninterrupted period of worship. Children are able to have a time to worship with peers and be taught with a curriculum at their level of understanding.
There are two general models for how to serve children during weekly worship services. In one model, children stay with adults through the entire worship period. In these churches, the sermons are usually shorter and the worship service is more child-friendly. This model for children's worship has not produced as much positive fruit in the lives of our youth as we would have hoped. We have tended to have our young children sleep or play quietly during worship services. An unfortunate result for some young people was that they learned to tune the sermons out.
We must do more for our children so that they may be involved in worship. We therefore recommend the second model: teaching children separately either through the entire service or through a portion of the service. The following are some of the reasons for this recommendation:
Children learn better when material is presented at their level. Although a child-friendly adult service might have aspects that are suitable for some children, it cannot reach all age groups simultaneously. If a presentation is targeted toward 10-year-olds, the 5-year-olds will probably not be able to understand. And if it is targeted toward 5-year-olds, the 10-year-olds probably won't learn as much as they could. A child-friendly service does not help adults to the same extent as a service designed primarily for a more mature audience.
One reason for having a child-friendly service is so children feel like they belong in the congregation. This goal can be accomplished in other ways. Classes and worship designed for children may help them have a greater sense of belonging. The children know they belong because the class is designed specifically for them.
Children and adults can be integrated for some worship services, such as when children are invited to participate in portions of the worship service. For example, children may serve as greeters and ushers, help distribute material or collect offerings. The children's choir may provide worship music. Children may be part of the worship message by performing a short skit for the congregation. Children may even give a prayer or message. The adults may need to be updated about the children's ministry itself, and one of the classes may be held for the adults to see. This will also give children a sense of belonging, and it will encourage adults to pray for and support the ministry we have to our children.
Volunteer teachers and staff are part of the congregation. As children are given the opportunity to be in closer settings with these adults, they are better able to build intergenerational friendships. These relationships go further toward feelings of belonging than merely sitting through an adult service.
Children have more time with their peers during the children's church time. In some cases, children would not otherwise see much of their peers, especially in larger congregations. (Most children spend lots of time with peers at school, but children's church gives them an opportunity to spend time specifically with peers from Christian homes.)
Children have more opportunity to learn to pray in classes during children's church.
Parents need uninterrupted worship time. Even children who sit quietly for one and half hours sometimes need parental reminders, and parents have to keep one eye on their children throughout the service. Parents are not always able to give the sermon their undivided attention and cannot worship fully. The need for children's church can be even greater for single-parent families, for families with young children, and for families with many children. If most of the childcare falls on the mother, she may be unable to listen to sermons for several years in a row.
With a children's church, the church sends a message to the children that it cares enough for them to have a separate service. Parents have mentioned how excited their children are about coming to church, now that there is something just for them! The children's feelings are important to consider. If they are happy about coming to church, they are more likely to make a commitment to Christ. What better reason do we need?