Naginata

Civilization 4

Anyone interested in a PBEM game of Civ4 should contact me here or via email. I'll start it when I have at least 3 or 4 respondants.

Hmm, men

A story in three parts. A fair warning to the audience: the author has had a couple of drinks. He begs your forgiveness for any grammatical or spelling errors.

Part I: Abridged.

I accidentally went on a date a couple of days ago. Her name is Jennifer, and she has two jobs.

Part II: Complete.

Friday, I got to work, and I was convinced I had the solution to the insoluble bug of ultimate pain (hereafter refered to as Firebert). Firebert and I danced for a while, while eclipse kept time and tomcat played a tango. I was convinced that I would wear firebert down, and leave him exhausted on the floor while I slipped out the back. I figured by 2 in the afternoon, I'd be outta there.

So 4 rolls around, and not only have I not bested firebert I've realized that he's a much better dancer than I. Next to firebert, I have two left feet and rhythm like a white guy. In disgust, I picked up my coat and left. Venturing past the boss's office, she laughed, because at 4, everyone wants to leave. So I left and decided to drown my sorrows in a couple of beers and a pepperoni pie.

I hopped on the subway and headed down to chinatown. A chinatown later, I'm eating a pizza and drinking a jack's pumpkin spice ale, when a cute little thing named Jennifer sits down next to me. We got to talking - she's a manager at a ritzy hotel in a town where "ritzy" is a high standard indeed. She has another job, the details of which I will revel later, when it's more dramatic. Anyway, she doesn't know anyone in town, I don't know anyone in town, we were instant friends.

So we got up to leave, each of us having a half a pizza in a pizza box. She says "hey, I'm going to go see a movie, come along". I'm thinking, self, you've got nothing better to do, and there's worse fates than going to a movie with a Jennifer on a friday night, so off I went to the regal 20. I warned her that the guardians of the theatre would not look kindly on our leftovers, but she seemed sure of herself, so on I went. Sure enough, they that rip the tickets would not suffer us to pass, so, acting on a story I had related to her earlier in the night, Jennifer suggested we go find an Urban Outdoorsman to gift with our pizza.

"Capital idea", I thought. "Ok, let's go", I said. And off we went, looking for an Urban Outdoorsman. Now, those of you who have been in our nation's capital will tell you that if someone ever says "and we just couldn't find a bum", they're lying. I tell you the truth - we could not find a bum. We ended up stuffing our pizza into a trashcan at McDonalds.

Back to the theatre we went, saddened by our failure, but emboldened by our attempted psuedogenerosity. Entering the theatre, Jennifer became indecisive as to our choice of seats. We sat in the 4th row... for about 20 seconds. "This is too close", she said. I, being unconcerned as to position, followed her to some other seats toward the middle.

There followed 10 minutes of standing and sitting to let others pass in which she asked "is this opening night?" and also related to me the story of Saw 1. I became more and more concerned as to our choice of movie, but I was determined to tough it out.

I have never seen anyone spend so much of a movie in the fetal position as Jennifer. Apparently it was scary and also gory. There were some parts during which I cringed, but hollywood has so hardened me to the sight of human misery that honestly, it didn't phase me. I did think the movie was very interesting, the plot was certainly full of twists, and the ending - wow.

Leaving the theatre, we walked toward the subway and my departure. She offered to exchange numbers - an offer I readily accepted. And then I began putting my foot into my mouth. I won't related the details, but suffice it to say, by the end of my swallowing my foot and most of my leg, she knew that I had a girlfriend, who is also not the jealous type, so we should certainly plan for further merriment. Hopefully I didn't come off like too much of a jerk, but my special power IS making an ass of myself in the last 30 seconds spent with any given person.

Anyway, she informed me (After me saying "it's not even 10, let's go get a drink") that she had to work the next day - at her second job, at victoria's secret. Oh.

On my way to the subway, some thuggish looking fellow informed me that I had dropped something. As I wheeled about to see what it was, he informed me that I had, in fact, dropped my masculinity. Elated as I was to make friends (with a girl (who is pretty cute... sorry Ash, but come on, it's nice to know that I don't make em run and hide)), I could do naught but laugh in his face, and say "that's a good one... I'm going to use that", and walk off with a spring in my step.

I don't think anyone had ever laughed in his face, but I didn't stick around to see the results.

I'll omit the details of my journey home, except to say that there was a mall involved, and it cost twice as much as it should have.

Part III: Aftermath.

So I told a few friends about these events. Bourbon, for one. Ruke, for a second. The guy at the cigar store, for a third. To Bourbon and Ruke's credit, they did not react in the same manner as the rest of the guys I told. The rest of the guys said basically two things to me: First, that I absolutely could not tell my girlfriend. Second, they wanted to know how long I thought it would be before I nailed Jennifer.

What is wrong with men? Granted, I like starting the story with "I went on an accidental date". In fact, that's how I started the story when I told my girlfriend.

Epilogue: Commentary.

I suppose I've already inserted enough commentary. Let me pose this question, and you can answer it to yourself: what is wrong with men, that they assume from that tale that I mean to cheat on my girlfriend? That they call me an idiot, and stupid, when I state my intentions to tell my girlfriend everything about the evening?

What's wrong with men? Is my whole half of the species completely lacking in honor? In honesty? In sanity? Or am I meant to alter my purpose, to bend it to the sole end of getting my winky wet? I prefer to take a higher path. Perhaps not the highest I could choose, granted, but higher.

In conclusion, Ash probably could have guessed at the content of this post before it was written, so let me give a "shout out" to she who is the greatest of all possible girlfriends. Also, assuming that my foot was not too far down my throat, Jennifer will probably read this at some point, and so let me give a wave to her.

...

Man I'm drunk. Yeah, that's a good ending note. Curse you Belinda!

Tim Kaine: Not George Bush

So, I get at least one flier a day, sometimes two, telling me to vote for Tim Kaine for governor of Virginia.

A week ago, these were "hey, Kaine has been doing great things as Lt Govenor" and also "Let's keep moving forward" and don't forget "The last couple years have been awexome, let's do it all again!"

These are fine campaign points. If someone runs on "I have been the Vice/Lt/Assistant Cheesewarden for the last 4 years, and the Cheesewardency has only increased in profitability and prestige. Based on this record, I think that I am singularly qualified to be the Head Cheesewarden."

In order to argue against that sort of a campaign, I'd have to use real, factual arguments, and make the following two claims:

1) The boom in virginia's economy over the past 5 years has been, in large part, due to the explosion in the size of the government. This has led to an enormous housing bubble and employment opportunities in the northern virginia area.

2) Oh, sure you've done pretty good, but I could do even better, and here's why:

It would be a tough debate.

Now then, over the last week, the fliers have taken a turn for the ugly. One of them features a picture of regular gas for sale for $3.69 (it's $2.55 as of last night) and a picture of Tom Delay and says something about how we have to stop the terrible corruption in washington from coming to virginia.

Huh? That doesn't even make sense to me.

The one last night was even worse. I ripped it up and left it on the mail counter for the roommates (both socialists) to see. Sort of like a head on a pike outside the village wall. I was just going to not vote for governor (because honestly, I'm not a well informed virginia voter, being a relatively new resident, and living in NoVA, which is barely even virginia to begin with), but after the last week of ads, I think I'm going to go vote for Kilgore, because at least he isn't wallpapering my house with ads about how terrible Republicans are.

I mean, seriously...

Bush bad + Delay bad + Rove bad + Gas prices high + Grim Milestone = Tim Kaine for Governor.

Notice how I didn't mention a single positive thing about Tim Kaine OR negative thing about Kilgore there?

</rant>

Harriet 2: Aftermath

Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer are outside their minds.

They have taken leave of their senses.

Granted, this probably happened a long time ago.

The noise from the left seems to be that they're upset over the Miers nomination being pulled. I hear two complaints, and I will address them seperately Note that neither of these "quotes" are actual quotes. They're paraphrases:

1) "But I thought you said that everyone deserves an up or down vote"

Look, everyone does deserve an up or down vote. Everyone, that is, who has a nomination before the senate. Harriet Miers doesn't anymore. Ultimately, once she was nominated, only she or Bush could pull her back out. If her nomination had stayed in, and she had been denied an up or down vote by either side of the senate, I would be calling them out, you can bet on that. The "everyone gets a vote" rule doesn't apply to people who don't want a vote.

2) "This is a case of moderate republicans bowing to pressure from the extreme right wing, and let's hope that Bush doesn't give in and appoint a justice who will support their radical right-wing agenda."

If you think that's why "radical right wingers" were up in arms about Miers, you don't get it at all. There were a bunch of people yelling that she was horribly underqualified, and then the media dug and dug and found out that she was "soft on abortion" and a bunch of other nonsense. And so the legend became that we were mad because she wasn't ideologically pure. If we radical right-wingers had started screaming AFTER things like that came out, you would have a point. As it is, you don't have a point, you're just dumb.

Furthermore, which senators seem to be the most dissapointed that Harriet's nomination is dead? Could it be... the magical 22% that thought that Roberts was unqualified? If you think that Harriet Miers is qualified to serve on the Supreme Court of the United States of America, and you think that John Roberts is NOT qualified, you are probably in danger of death by consumption. Put down the bottle, stop doing lines, throw away the little red book, and come back to reality.

In conclusion, any time the far left wing yells about the far right wing (or the other way around), it's a recipe for laughs.

So Long Harriet

Harriet Miers is no longer a nominee for the Supreme Court.

Good. She never should have even been considered. Maybe I'll put some more thoughts up later, but I'm busy busy busy.

Rosa Parks

Turns out the Rosa Parks story was more interesting than we thought. She was undoubtedly a woman of great courage, and the sort that we could use more of these days.

When Mother says jump...

... I say "pass the salt".

Behold, my 23rd post. And the 5th sentence:

These figures represent 3 million people working full time all year just to do tax preparation work.

But it's a bulleted post, so maybe you'd prefer the 5th bullet:

Your government recently gave $170 million to a group called PSI. PSI was founded by Philip Harvey. Philip Harvey runs a mail-order porno business called Adam and Eve. PSI wants to hand out condoms around the world. They now have $170 million of your money to fund their project.

C# 3.0

An interview with Anders about the language I love but never get to use, C#. Now with Lambda expressions. No, really.

The Kitchen Ballet

So, picture this:

I went upstairs, in shorts and a white t-shirt that's seen better days, having recently returned from a workout. One toe is completely wrapped in duct tape. I filled my brita pitcher at the sink and start to walk out of the kitchen, at which point I hit a slippery spot. I slid about 3 feet on one leg, the other one swinging about in short arcs for balance. finally I stopped, having turned 180 degrees in the process. At the end of my trip I had lost about a half a cup of water, and spilled some of the cat's food on the floor.

My roommate, on seeing the incident, wondered how it was that I wasn't dead. Honestly, aside from some slight lower back soreness (because I did just get back from the weight room, after all), I'm fine.

Cat like reflexes. Bring me some rice paper.

Modern Heroes

What defines a hero?

Is it the courage to stand up for what is right, no matter the odds?
Is it the strength to persevere even if the whole world is against you?
Is it the will to overcome all obstacles in pursuit of your goals?

I say that this guy is a hero.

Tojam-Jitsu

Warning: kinda gross.

So, I've had plantar's warts on my foot since... well, for a long time. I decided that it's finally time to get rid of them. In the interests of science, I'm going to use two different methods, and see which one works best.

On my left foot, I have 1 wart on the outstep and one on the ball, and I will be using Dr. Scholl's wart remover (17% salicylic (spelling?) acid), plus the little tan wart covers.

On my right foot, I have three warts, including one giant mosaic wart, on my big toe. I will be using duct tape to completely cover the area.

I will apply the treatments once each day in the evenings, and monitor the progress.

After one day of treatment, the Acid foot shows no changes, while the skin around the warts on the tape foot is white, slightly puffy, and beginning to peel up a little bit.

More to come tomorrow.

The Supremes

I want you all to know that I've been trying to make a post about Harriet Miers for the past 4 or 5 days, but I think that the better strategy, in the long run, is for me to have no record either approving or disapproving of her.

Look for me to start removing my opinions from this site soon, because that will increase the values of my opinions later.

That's right:
1) Do nothing
2) ...
3) Supreme court nomination

I guess I could shorten that to just "...".

At least John Roberts was a stealth nominee with a little street cred, he'd written some things that you could read and debate and argue and dissect and use to learn about the man. This Miers thing smacks of... well, a lot of things. Cronyism, for one. Dobson's comments certainly don't make me happy either. If there's some sort of secret agenda going on here, well, you don't need me to tell you that's bad.

I really hope Miers sinks, and the next nominee is greeted with the NYT headlines like "Bush panders to right-wing 'constructionists' with supreme court pick".

Seriously. Lately Bush is indistinguishable from a liberal and a coward, and while I like to believe that he's neither, I'm short on proof.

You're all reading it anyway...

But seriously, here's the back of the upcoming Penny Arcade book.

Penny Arcade, the most popular webcomic of all time, comes to you packaged in this compact, wirelessportable viewer that requires no batteries no power cords or adapters, and never needs to be recharged! With this revolutionary technology you can access your favorite penny arcade strips anytime and anywhere through the awesome power of available light!

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

More Serenity

Why is Serenity a great movie? Because more than any other movie, it does a good job of having the ship as a character. I'm going to keep this short because I'm busy, but I keep meaning to make this post and forgetting... different parts of the movie, the you get a feeling from the ship. The ship is calm, or the ship is pissed, or the ship is wounded... it's amazing what some lighting, coloring, and music tricks can do.

The point is, the (one scene I won't spoil), that ship is PISSED OFF, and I like it. Makes me want to play Homeworld:Cataclysm again, the music and feel is so similar.

Finally, a worthy quiz

I put this here only because I want you to go see the movie.

Also, I'm happy with the way this turned out. I also would have accepted The Operative.

Hat tip: argen

You scored as Capt. Mal Reynolds. The Captain. You are the captain of the ship, so the crew are your responsibility. You just want to do the job, get paid and keep flying. Why is that always so hard? Capt. Mal Reynolds 75% The Operative 69% Zoe Alleyne Washburne 69% Hoban 'Wash' Washburne 63% Kaylee Frye 63% River Tam 56% Inara Serra 56% Jayne Cobb 56% Simon Tam 56% Shepherd Derrial Book 31% Which Serenity character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

I am the freak

So last week I spent tuesday night through sunday night in Minnesota and Wisconsin, mostly for work, with a little bit of annihilating Ruke at Magic thrown in for good measure.

For the record, he was playing a 6-block draft deck, and I was playing my "white noise" deck, which contains stuff from visions, revised, mirage, and assorted other sets that are probably not technically legal to play right now.

Anyhoo, on the flight from The Reagan to MSP, I decided to pull out my lappy and write some notes about Campaign Pearlwater and where it's going next.

There's about 3 and a half story threads going, and I just want to make sure that they're all going where I want, and that the hooks are character appropriate. So I pulled out the laptop and started typing away.

After about 2 sentences, it became clear that there was not enough room to have the laptop open to where I could read it, and also far enough away from me so that I could type. I tried a few different configurations, then I thought "you know, I'm just typing ideas that are already in my head..."

So I closed the lid to where I had enough room for my hands under it plus a half inch or so, and then leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and typed. The guy across the isle was staring, so I met his gaze with a smirk and a wink and kept typing. I think he was really disturbed by the fact that I typed for most of the flight and never once looked at the screen.

Anyway, I ended up typing about 230 lines worth of content, and I still haven't looked at it. I'm sure there's some typos, but hey, typo-ridden content is better than no content at all.

Serenity Wow.

(Props to Bourbon Joel McBourbon for the title)

You have to go see Serenity RIGHT NOW. If you need help finding a showing near you, I suggest going to google and entering "serenity" and then your zip code. If you liked Firefly, you will love Serenity. If you didn't like Firefly, I'm really not interested in what you think anyway!

The point is, this movie is great. Simplest possible review: "At last, the season 1 finale of Firefly"

If I say more, I'll spoil things, so I'm going to stop here.