I went to McDonalds for lunch today. Not because I like McDonalds (I don't), but because the only ATM in town I don't get charged to use is in McDonalds... but the ATM is a topic for a different rant altogether.
My complaint is this: The menu at McDonalds is almost all pictures.
I was ok with it when they started doing the value meals, and putting up pictures of those. It provided a nice break in the middle of the menu, and let you identify things you wanted at a glance. Now the menu is all pictures, so much so that they've extended the menu around a corner, and only the extention is not covered with pictures.
The pictures take up so much space, that the entire menu is no longer posted on the menu. Little signs around the menu, hanging below the menu, and otherwise not on the menu help to round it out, but I know there's still products missing. Leading the person behind me in line to ask "do you still have salads". And that led to an explanation, and a recounting of which salads they still had. If I were working there, I'd want to be able to point people to the menu, and refer to it myself. Why have a menu anymore? Why not just call it the "food billboard"??
Now, let me raise some objections to my "word dominated menu", so that I might also crush them.
First of all, the objection that you'd like to be able to see what the food looks like, especially in the meals. To this I say: go to wendys. They do a nice job of having some pictures around the menu, and pictures of the popular sandwiches and other foodstuffs, posted around the store. There's no confusion as to what you get when you order something at Wendys. McDonalds should be no different... at this point, people should know what a "quarter pounder with cheese" is going to be.
Second, what about people that can't read? I say, these people fall into 2 broad categories: people that can't read english, and people that can't read. For the most part, the people that can't read english I'm ok with, they probably have a good reason. The people who can't read period, should be so young that they're there with a parent who is likely to order for them, or go learn to read, but their needs can be met by meeting the needs of the educated category as well. I think we can solve the problem the way its been solved in Japan (and I'm sure at countless places in other countries, including this one... just not where I live).
When I went to Japan, I was basically illiterate, and yet, I ate at restraunts without any kind of translator more than once. One incident involved me getting incorrect change, and trying to get correct change back (which was funny after the fact, but frustrating during the fact), but most went really well. The list of places I ate at include no less than 2 McDonalds, one in Tokyo and one in Kyoto. At these places, they have some, limited, number of pictures around and in the menu, but also what looked like a pretty full listing of the products available. They also had a picture menu built into the countertop, so I could look for a tasty sandwich, and point and grunt (which I didn't have to do, I do speak a little japanese, but if I had no choice, I could have easily gestured "big mac"). There was also a small stack of picture menus off to the side that you could grab and browse. I know that McDonalds stocks full picture menus behind the counter in America, but you have to ask for them... and why bother when the whole "menu" is posted graphically anyway.
I say the solution is this: Make the picture menu readily available, either in the countertop, or with a stack of them in an obvious place, near the counter. After all, people who can't read it might not be able to speak it either. This also removes any potential shame that those who simply can't read at all might feel if they had to ask for a picture menu, which I suppose I can learn to live with. Whatever they decide to do, I hope they end up with something more substantial than the current pathetic sandwich summary crammed between adverts where the real menu used to be.
Site news: there's now a new category (programming) because I noticed that "technology" and "rants" were getting a lot of play, and experiencing some overlap. And now on to the post...
In the interest of bringing further obscurity and incomprehensibility to my lexicon, I think I'm going to start using some very special words to refer to comments. And I'm going to use landscaping terms to refer to them, because of the way the comments get colored in visual studio.net.
Examples:
/// <summary>
/// Generate a searchlinks table from the database and Searches.xml file
/// </summary>
/// <param name="com">Ready<c>System.Data.OleDb.OleDbCommand</c>, Connected to the ARS Oracle database</param>
private void GenerateSearchLinks(OleDbCommand com)
{
//HASHTABLE searchLinks keyed by display name
//Contain arrays:
//[0] = column name
//[1] = table name string
//[2] = link constraint name string
//[3] = choices (delimit with ?)
//[4] = message
//[5] = "numeric" || "text"
//[6] = "free" || "select"
searchLinks = new Hashtable();
string[] pattern;
OleDbDataReader dr;
StringBuilder choices;
ArrayList searchablesProto = new ArrayList();
//All search data is in Searches.xml, in Pattern tags
XmlDocument searchConfig = new XmlDocument();
searchConfig.Load("Searches.xml");
XmlNodeList patterns = searchConfig.SelectNodes("/Searches/Pattern");
...
I know it ain't pretty, and that array should be replaced with a struct, but it's full of comments, and illustrates what I'm thinking about pretty clearly. Comments that describe what some obscure function does, I'd refer to as "grass". Things like the "//All search data..." comment.
Multi-line grass gets promoted to "shrubs".
Comments like the description of the arrays that I'm throwing into that hashtable, I'd refer to as "Trees", being substantially different from both grass and shrubs, and larger too.
The method header comment, I'd refer to as "sidewalk", since it's got a lot of grey in it, and runs inbetween the methods themselves. So this method has a nice grove of trees up front, and not a lot of sidewalk, but enough to get the job done. If I had a remarks and example section in the sidewalk, I'd refer to it as "well paved", but this is an obscure method deep down in the configuration engine, so it's not going to see much foot traffic anyway.
I suppose a class header block is somewhat different from a method header block, I could refer to those as driveways. A method loaded down with grass and shrubs I'd refer to as "flowery". A class full of grass and shrubs, I'd refer to as a garden. A whole project full of gardens, I'd then call a park. Parks are designed to have children come and play and enjoy the grass and shrubs and trees. They're also fun to go and work out in sometimes, and easier on the eyes of people that are in to that sort of thing.
As it is, I've decided that I like laying some sidewalk, and patches of grass here and there. Every once in a while I'll throw out some shrubs when I have a strange algorithm, or a method that invokes arcane properties of obscure libraries. I've also decided that my tendancy to landscape from time to time has less to do with my wanting to get people to understand and use my code, and more to do with me wanting to understand my intentions. Hack Mode is good and fine for solving hard problems, but sometimes getting away from the hard problems and doing a little landscaping is good for my soul.
While looking through my dive gear I discovered my long lost Favorite Red Shirt. And I was afraid it had gone the way of my Favorite Blue Shirt (which is now sporting a rip so massive it can only be worn when in the apartment).
Ah, Favorite Red Shirt, how I missed you.
I think that it's been established that I consider myself a "hacker", I won't rehash that one at all. One of the properties of hackers is that we tend to be very precise in our use of language. If someone says "do you like chocolate or steak?", I'm inclined to reply "yes". Perhaps a better question would have been "do you like chocolate and steak?" or "do you like chocolate xor steak?" or "do you prefer chocolate over steak". As it is, the "chocolate or steak" question could be any one of those three, and just isn't precise enough to sastisfy me.
Anyway, I'm writing a horrible scripting language right now, which is creeping its way toward complexity, and I recently wrote a "function" abstract class. Here's some C# code:
public abstract Variable Call(params object[] input);
I hit a snag when implementing a "Sum" function. More specifically, when writing the comment header for this function. I want it to say that you should pass said function a bunch of integers, but I didn't have a good word for "bunch". I typed "group" of integers first, but then I heard Dr. Sherman's voice mocking me in my head. Then I decided to change it to "set" of integers, which is more appropriate, but I decided that using any rigorously-defined word like that was asking for trouble. This discarded "heap" of integers as well. "Array" of integers is also inappropriate, thanks to that params keyword. I settled on "pile" so the SumInteger class implementation documentation now says "Sums a pile of integers", because that's the best I could do.
Deep down, I'm ok with that, I think. Except it's hard to have a pile of only 1 object, and the method will work fine with 1 argument. So now pile is ruled out too. I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet and use "1 or more", which is cold, mechanical, and probably where I should have started.
It's rough out here, in the land of comments.
So I've been having some problems starting my car lately, and asked around till I found a garage I thought would be nice and not deliver a carlinesque account servicing at every opportunity. Having found said garage, I made an appointment and dropped off Big Red thismorning on the way to work (thanks dave for tagging along and all that).
After confirming the appointment, the mechanic asked one fatal question: is there anything else wrong with the car. Suddenly, I found my brain bubbling over with "problems" that I had been mostly ignoring to that point. Here's the final list (because everyone should use html list tags whenever possible):
There was something else I can't remember right now. Who knows what just checking all those things out is going to cost me. The point is, I haven't been taking fantastic care of that car (because I don't drive it all that much, thanks to dave's magical carpool machine) and the drive in to work today showed me that I need to do something about it. Which I am. Now we'll see how much taking care of it is going to cost.
Someone found a use for all those old floppy drives. It's projects like this that give me hope for the long term survival of our race. If we can turn useless floppy drives into robots, cures for cancer and bases on mars are only a step away!
Iver requested this, so I'm going to prove that I am the analogy man, and try my best to live up to his expectations.
This is why Hackers are like Assassins:
Solitude
Hackers like to work alone. It's not that they can't work in groups, it's that they prefer, usually, to work alone, or maybe with a partner. Similarly, the best assassins work best alone.
Small Group Skills
Hackers in small groups tend to have different skills, and recognize who has what skills. One might be good with data structures, one with networking, one with GUIs, one with databases (that's me), and so on. Typically work will be sorted out so that the most effective person is doing what they're most effective at whenever possible. Similarly, small teams of assassins will probably sort out their skills in a similar fashion. One might be good with poisions, another with small arms, another with a sniper rifle, and they will apply their skills to best effect. In both groups, though, there is a degree of cross training that goes on, where the excellent members in a given area will pass some of their talent to their mates in that area.
Preferred Tools
Just as Hackers and Assassins have skills that they are more proficient in, they also have tools they are more proficient with. Some hackers like emacs, some like Visual Studio, there's even some wierdos who like vi. When pressed, however, a hacker will use what's at hand to get the job done. Assassins are no different - an assassin might prefer a sniper rifle, but if he's really well trained, I bet he can knife you down, poision you, blow up your car, or perform some other action to take care of business. If the assassin doesn't know how to use a certain tool, it's a good bet that he knows someone who does.
Breaking and Entering
Assassins are masters of getting into places where people don't want them. So are Hackers. It's not that they make a practice of doing it all the time - that would be too overt. Good assassins may be better at breaking and entering than your average burglar, just like good hackers are better at it than your average cracker. Both groups keep their skills undercover so that they can ride along unnoticed, dormant if you will, until the skills are needed to pull off a truly fantastic hack.
Percieved as Evil
Hackers, like assassins, have a bad reputation. Assassins get this reputation because they kill people. Hackers get it because they do things to your computer. Both have powers that can be used for good from time to time, but generally, they're regarded by the common man as evil, and they're ok with that. I say that if hackers really wanted to get along with everyone else, they'd stop calling themselves hackers. If assassins really wanted to get along with everyone else, well, they'd stop killing people, or get jobs as soldiers where they can kill people respectable-like.
Special Powers
Hackers and assassins both have powers beyond those of mortal man. I won't bore you with a short list of said powers, but I think everyone would agree with me on this one. Some of these powers come from training and practice. Others come from a certain mindset. Assassins might look at a mark and not acknowledge his personhood - this makes killing him that much easier. A hacker certainly looks at the (computer) world very differently than other people.
Self-Selected Membership
Hackers and Assassins choose themselves. There's not even a club you have to join, you just have to jump right in. It's not that they appoint membership amongst themselves, there's even less organization than that. It's sufficient for a hacker to say "I'm a hacker", with full knowledge of what that means. If the statement is false, he'll be exposed soon enough. Similarly, all an assassin needs to "become an assassin" is to find someone with an enemy and a full wallet. If he's a poor assassin, he'll also be exposed before too long.
Training
Hackers can only learn so much from other people. You get to a certain point where you just have to hack. It's fine reading books and knowing a lot of stuff about code, but at some point you have to get in there and know code. The difference is subtle, but it's the difference between a hacker and a regular joe - hackers swim through code as well (or better) than mortals swim through english. Similarly, assassins can train all they want, but the real test - and skill - comes when people start dying. Shooting targets is fine, combat training is fine, but until that bullet splatters brain on the sidewalk, or that knife rends a vein, the real training hasn't started.
I've taken down the tagboard. it was just too much real estate for too little payoff. BUT the scripts that made it work remain, and so hope remains. Or something like that. IF I ever get around to redesigning this place (and man does it need it), maybe tagboard will find a home. Or not. Hopefully there will be integration between quotebot 2.0 and tagboard, which would be sweet. And if you don't know what quotebot 2.0 is, don't worry :)
SPOILER WARNING!! STOP READING NOW if you haven't seen the movie!!!
I saw the Matrix reloaded the other day with the gamefest2k3 crowd, and I'll apply a simple rating scheme for it:
Overall, that's a score of 6, which is fairly respectable, I suppose. Still, notice how cutting out the caveman orgy and making the big fight with the Agents Smith more than an x-box game would have raised the score to a mind-boggling 13. If I can get it on DVD, and somehow destroy the track with the cave rave, I'll be a happy man. In total, I liked it, because it answers nearly all the questions from the first movie and opens new and interesting questions for your consideration.
Regarding Enter the Matrix, the game... It's good. That's shocking, for a movie-game, but I have my reasons. Let me say this though, it has 3 major flaws, and I'm dissapointed at shiny for letting them slip by.
Even with those caveats, I've been playing it because it's very challenging (even if half the challenge is simply the controls), it's full of attitude, and it's got great storyline elements. Like the guy who randomly comes up to Ghost and Naiobi saying "72 hours. 72 hours. That's how long Zion lasted last time". Also, more info about the Osiris and the Logos and their missions. It's sad to be playing a game just to see what the story line is going to do, but that's half (or more) of the reason I'm still playing it. The kung fu is pretty cool too. It's hard to control, but once you learn certain moves, you find yourself doing them all the time. Neo's cartwheel from the lobby scene in the first movie, Trinity's corner-walking jump kick, these things kill people FAST, and look really nice.
Also, I can't help but like Ghost. The opening scene says it all: Naiobi picks up her guns and puts them away, ready to leave the Construct. Ghost picks up his guns, checks the slides, checks his ammo, works the action, then puts them away, one at a time. He knows it's a program, he knows they're going to be perfect just like last time... but he's GHOST, it's what he does!
Overall, I give this game a "wait till it's in the bargain bin". I'd wait until about 2 weeks before the next matrix movie, more if you don't have much playing time, and then pick it up on xcubestation2. Hopefully the control/engine issues are less noticable there, and you'll beat it just in time for the next movie.
Since the last post of this nature has been so popular (raising the phrase "biker chicks" almost to the top of the pig's search targets), I decided to tackle yet another mad analogy.
Hackers are just like Mountain climbers. This one I'll start without the rambling intro:
--- Clothing
Most hackers own some mountain climbing-esque gear, even if they don't wear it every day. Things like fleece vests, pullovers, pants of many pockets, boots, and so on are popular with the hacker crowd. I've just about decided that it's impossible to be a hacker unless you own at least 1 fleece vest. Hackers and Mountain Climbers go for the same trend in clothing: clothes that are functional, comfortable, warm enough in cold weather yet cool enough (or layered enough) to keep comfy in warm weather. Both groups go for clothing that fits a function over a form. And if Mountain Climbers adorn their clothing with varoius ropes, carabiners (or "keychains" as most hackers regard them) and other implements, then hackers are equally guilty in the realm of pagers, cell phones, PDA's, and the so on. Both select clothing that allows them to carry and use the tools of their trade.
--- Decision Making
Mountain Climbers, like Hackers, make decisions based on a very specific outlook on life. Both of these groups look at a problem and say "does this benefit me more than it hurts me". A Mountain Climber preparing for a climb might look at some piece of gear and ask, "does this help me. Is this piece of gear worth the extra weight and bulk". Similarly, a hacker looks at a block of code and says "does this help my program". If it's good code, they keep it. If it's bad code, they cut it.
--- Solitude
You always see pictures of mountain climbers alone at the top of some rock in the middle of nowhere. If mountain climbers must work together, they work with others who have similar skill levels and complimenting abilities. Hackers get the most work done either in total solitude or in small groups of competent hackers. Even then, each hacker has to write his own code, just as each climber must pull his own weight. The difference is the common goal - everyone climbs on their own, but shares saftey lines and distributes gear, so that everyone can more easily get to the top of the mountain.
--- Fitness
Hackers and Mountain Climbers have similar outlooks on fitness. Not that hackers are generally physically fit, some are, some arent. But in fitness to do their jobs, they have similar feelings. Mountain Climbers will climb small hills, man made mountains, and do other things to stay fit, even if they're much less challenging, ultimately, than "real" climbs. Hackers, similarly, will explore strange and interesting programs, and curious and sometimes worthless languages in an attempt to keep their brain in top hacking form.
--- Accomplishment
Mountain climbers climb mountains, in general, because they're there. Getting to the top is worth getting to the top because it's the TOP. Hackers write programs because they haven't written them. Maybe someone else has written the program, but that's not the point. You write the program because you can. Because it's NOT there. But ultimately, it's the same idea, both climbers and hackers see challenges waiting to be beaten. Both are aware of which ones they are and are not capable, realistically, of tackling, and probably have some idea of what they have to do to get in position to tackle those challenges that are currently beyond them.
I've been pondering adding new functionality to the Ol' Insensitivity training for a while now, new menus and other things being a priority. Today I decided to implement a little tagboard. And by bending the Trackback system to my will, I discovered how easy it was. I also use trackback for my "now playing" feature, via a little c# program called the PingDoctor, and the winamp DoSomething plugin. Conclusion: Flexible Technology is good.
So I didn't watch the Democrat debate last night. I'm glad I didn't, the last thing I need is, well, watching 9 (yes, nine) democrats debating each other. But, I have looked at some highlights, and let me say this:
Number 1: Al Sharpton for Court Jester!
Number 2: John Edwards is running for President. Can you imagine if he wins?
"My fellow Americans, the economic progress made during the late 90's has... wait... ok, I'm getting something. I'm hearing... something... from a writer, or someone who writes a lot. They tell me... they tell me that there's some document, some important document. Does anyone know something about a document, something important? I'm hearing... yes... apparently it's a document, which starts with a "C" or a "K". Some kind of hard C sound. Ok, and now they're telling me... they're very angry about this document, that apparently it's been destroyed or damaged somehow. Does this sound familiar to anyone? No... well, not to me either. I'm getting... wow, now I'm feeling a lot of anger from this person, over this document, and something about Philadelphia..."
And so on and so forth...
And before you tell me what I already know, yes, I know the difference between John Edward and John Edwards.
Of course, I mean no disrespect to Senator Edwards. That will come after I learn more about his platform.
Go here, watch these 2 videos. They're fairly well explained on the page. The non-effects one, you can just kind of watch the first minute or so, it's terribly repetitive. The special effects one... yeah, it's not work safe, unless your job is laughing, a lot.
And while I'm linking... go read this comic, and also this comic, which make fun of Carter, a favorite past time of mine.
Author's Note: Let me preface this whole adventure by stating that I did NOT watch T.V. all night last night. I turned it on and it provided me with background noise for about 3 hours while I did other things with my time. The times when I sit and watch T.V. and do nothing else are basically non-existant at this point.
I really lothe local news channels. I hate most of the national news channels too, but for slightly different reasons. The local news attempts to duplicate all the pagentry and sensationalism of the national news, and manages to look just foolish in the process. Sadly, most in-duh-viduals are so numb of brain and butt alike that they don't even realize what a steaming pile most local news channels deliver.
Case in point: Last night on <Local News Channel #3b>, there were commercials aired, starting around 8 o'clock (around when I turned on the TV) talking about a "Woman who was shot while sitting at a red light". Now think about that. Imagine the newscaster tone saying that phrase. Over and over. What do you picture? I see a bloodbath at the red light. Was it gang related? Was it an accident? Was she shot by the police? Is she an Al Qaeda terrorist, possibly Osama bin Laden in high drag? I was intrigued, I'll admit it. Their little game worked, hopefully for the last time.
Around 9:30 or so, the phrase changed. Ok, they keep shooting commercials, they changed it to "Woman struck by a bullet" at a red light. So they wanted a different phrase, not what I would have picked, but it sure kept the story fresh in my mind. I couldn't NOT watch the news, I wanted to see blood and brain splattered over the asphalt like so much modern art. I'm not a good person, and commercials for news-o-tainment fuel the most primitive, sinful parts of my mind.
So the news came on. The story comes up, and here's what happened, in a nutshell:
Seems that between the shooting range owner and the guys who owned the gun, her windshield and medical costs (of which there should be none or very few) are taken care of. Not to mention a very sincere apology, and a promise to be more careful with the testing equipmet in the future. Period.
Of course, some local politician has to say that there's a study being formed, to investigate the saftey of these these ranges, if maybe they should be shut down or not allowed anywhere near where people are. What happened to accidents? Remember when there could be an accident? Heck, someone could DIE in an accident not too long ago, and while there would be every effort made to ensure it didn't happen again, it was an accident. Preventable? Absolutely. In hindsight, every accident is preventable. But pre-empting accidents is a little bit like giving warning of unscheduled network downtime. No matter how much the execucrats want it, it just defies the laws of nature.
My other question is this: I'm sure that shooting range pays a lot of insurance. In fact, the bill for that is probaby a pretty big slice of the income pie for the range. If the first time a minor accident happens (we're dealing with guns, I think an accident resulting in some broken glass and a bruise is pretty minor in this case), they launch an investigation which shuts down the range, why buy insurance in the first place? It's absolutely ridiculous. Yes, caution should always, always be exercised around guns. But your odds of being killed by a gun are probably a lot higher driving through Gary, Indiana, than driving by a shooting range.
My solution (I think it's just wrong to rant this long about a problem without offering a solution...) - News programs should not be fixed length. There should be a set 10 minutes or so for the news, about 5 minutes of which should be weather and the other 5 sports. If there's news to report, they can swell up to a half hour or an hour. If not, pad the rest of that with extended sports highlights, press releases, Simpsons shorts, heck, even SNL reruns if you have to, but stop sensationalizing to come up with news. This story was better featured in the onion, than on a 'real' news show.
Oh, and the story tommorow? Why American Idol is an bad influence, because it encourages dreams of fame and fortune. Remember when those were encouraged in children? All the news that's fit to ignore, tonight at 11!