Naginata's Ivory Hovel

A Confluence of Failures

It's been a while since my last post. Let me explain why:

1) The spam, oh God, the spam. At first, I'd come to the site, trim the spam, make a post, and then sit back, enjoying a job well done. Then I'd get as far as trimming spam, and run out of time or be sick of dealing with the site altogether, so I'd quit. At some point, I just gave up entirely.

2) The Baracktober fest line of posts, while entertaining, is proving basically impossible to finish. If it's not clear, let me sum up the candidates once more (quickly, I promise!), and I think you'll see why:

John McCain (R, Arizona Senator). Platform: Perpetual war, total economic collapse. Scandals: taking money, treating wife like crap. Chance of victory: High.

Mike Huckabee (R, Arkansas Governor). Platform: Theocracy, Fairtax. Scandals: His son mistreated a dog once. Chance of Victory: Zero.

Ron Paul (R, Texas Representative). Platform: Freedom, Krugerrands. Scandals: A friend of his might be a racist. Chance of Victory: Zero.

Mike Gravel (D(L) Alaska Representative). Platform: Fairtax, Some freedom, some socialism. Scandals: Who the heck is Mike Gravel? Chance of Victory: Zero.

Hillary Clinton (D Harridan). Platform: Socialism, war. Or not. What day is it? Scandals: See "the 90s". Chance of Victory: Low-Moderate.

Barack Obama (D Illinois Senator). Platform: Socialism, income tax manipulation, open government. Scandals: Friend and pastor is angry. Believes that bitter people to whom politicians have broken promises might no longer trust politicians. Chance of Victory: High.

It's hard to keep posting, when Barack is the best one of the lot, and he's still unacceptably bad. It's just depressing, and I'll have plenty of time for depression after Baracktober is over.

In other news, I had a great idea recently, after reading a story over at Operation Clambake. I remember my Dad's method for dealing with Jehova's witnesses, and I wonder if it couldn't be applied to scientologists. Come up with a simple, 2 minute explanation of why scientology is bad (this is the hard part). Something that will work even on scientologists. Include facts and ideas that the person will want to research - even if it gets them labeled PTS or SP within the org. Getting the org to bully them will work to further your cause.

Then, if you ever run into a scientologist selling books, offer to buy one in exchange for 2 minutes of their time. Be honest with them. Let them know that the church considers you an SP, but that you want to help them get their stats up. After all, you might say, surely 2 minutes is a small price to pay to get their stats up. Offer to repeat this transaction on a regular basis, if they like. Yes, it will cost you 6 bucks and you'll have to soil your hands with cult propaganda, but you might just save someone. Wouldn't that be worth 6 bucks?

Housekeeping

I give up trying to keep the comment section spam-free. It's just SO MUCH spam.

Barcktoberfest 4

The cost of our debt is one of the fastest growing expenses in the federal budget. This rising debt is a hidden domestic enemy, robbing our cities and states of critical investments in infrastructure like bridges, ports, and levees; robbing our families and our children of critical investments in education and health care reform; robbing our seniors of the retirement and health security they have counted on. . . . If Washington were serious about honest tax relief in this country, we'd see an effort to reduce our national debt by returning to responsible fiscal policies. -- Barack Obama

Funny how every single item he mentions up there is a government expenditure. I guess implying that taxation is robbery would be too far for the good senator.

Restore Fiscal Discipline to Washington
Reinstate PAYGO Rules
I like this. If you want to spend some money, you should have some money. Score: 1

Reverse Bush Tax Cuts for the Wealthy
You know, it's almost impossible to understand what he actually means to do. The tax code is so complex that simply saying that 'I want to cut taxes on the middle class' is almost meaningless, and that's before you factor in the amount of taxes actually paid by, for example, the bottom 50% of earners. I'm going to say -1 for this one, even though I would adjust that up or down if I had specifics.

Cut Pork Barrel Spending
I've got an idea - how about eliminating it. He wants to slash earmarks to 2001 levels, uh, how about rolling them back to 1791 levels? Score: 1

Make Government Spending more Accountable and Efficient
I like this, but I'd rather make government more efficient by making it smaller! Score: 1

End Wasteful Government Spending
Let's see what he calls "wasteful" "spending":

• subsidies to oil and gas companies


• subsidies to private student loans

Make the Tax System more Efficient
End Tax Haven Abuse
You have got to be kidding me. Companies are going overseas to escape America's byzantine tax code, and his solution is to add some more complexity to punish companies trying to escape. Why not make our tax code so simple and our tax burden so light that companies start using US as a tax shelter? Score: -2

Close Special Interest Corporate Loopholes
Why not eliminate all deductions? Why not just give individuals a single, standard deduction for, say, 15 grand, and maybe a mortgage deduction, and then remove all over special loopholes and deductions across the board?

Baracktoberfest 3: The Barackening

Time for more discussion of Obama's platform. Going down the list from his website, we get to the next issue, titled "faith". Actually, his website is pretty sparse on this issue. Good for him.

Moving on, it's time for "families".

Support Working Families

Provide a "Making Work Pay Tax Cut" for America's Working Families
I'm always for Tax cuts! Score:

...

Wait a minute, I'm reading the thing, and it's a tax credit, not a tax cut. So, not only are we engaging in socialist income redistribution, we're lying about it. Shame. Score: -3

Provide a living wage
The government is free to provide a living wage to all its employees. It is not, however, allowed to impress its will on private contract negotiations. Yeah, I know, you can't raise a family on 5.25, blah blah, cry cry, kids are starving. You know what? If you're making minimum wage, keep it in your pants. The great majority of minimum wage earners are students and/or teenagers anyway. Plus, he's throwing an increase to the earned income tax credit. Score: -2

Expand the Earned Income Tax Credit
Holy crap, it's got its own section now. Why not, oh, I don't know, eliminate the EITC benefit? If you want to provide welfare, CALL IT WHAT IT IS. Score: -2

Expand Paid Sick Days
Not the government's business. If you want more sick days, you should negotiate for them. Score: -1

Expand the Family and Medical Leave Act
I have a friend who owns a successful business. You've seen his products on TV. Right now, he employs just under 50 people, so that he can dodge things like FLMA. He has a plan for if and when Barack's plan goes into action, and it involves breaking the company into 2 units, each of which will fall under the new 25 employee cap. I don't want to sound cruel - I really think that your employer should be flexible, and work with you to help you take care of your family. I'm not in favor of putting a gun to their head and forcing them to do so. Score: -1

Encourage States to Adopt Paid Leave
For state employees? Great. Of course, you know that's not what he's talking about. Score: -1

Expand High-Quality Afterschool Opportunities
Why is it the job of some old man in Washington to figure out what my kids should be doing at 3:15 PM? Here's a crazy idea for you: reduce the tax burden on American families, and make 'a parent is home' the afterschool program. Either way, none of his business. Score: -1

Expand the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit
Score: -1

Protect against Caregiver Discrimination
So, not only is your employer on the hook if YOU get sick, they're also on the hook if anyone in your family gets sick? Sounds fair! Score: -1

Expand Flexible Work Arrangements
So, the federal government is going to have a program to encourage and help business implement more flexible work hours. Perhaps they'd like to have a program to help me lick my stamps before I sent in the rent checks on my office? Maybe a program to make sure that the coffee we brew for my employees is always rich, but not too rich for sally in accounting, because you know how her stomach gets. Score: -2

Strengthen our Schools
Expand Early Childhood Education
Hey, this program isn't working. The numbers clearly show that the more time a student spends in government education, the further behind they get. The solution? Let's make them spend more time in government education. Score: -1

Improve Public Schools
Service scholarships to recruit and prepare teachers who will work in undeserving districts... can't that be a local or, heaven forfend, a state matter? Why make it a federal issue? He'll provide improvements in education, mentoring, and planning time... o... k? Seems like something best handled at as local a level possible. Listen, I'm getting bored of typing it and you're getting bored of reading it. Score: -3

Reform and Fund No Child Left Behind
Listen, I do agree that NCLB was dumb, and I can give you a lot of specific reasons, if you want. The fact of the matter is that pouring more money on it isn't going to help. It was a good idea: force schools to be ranked, to compete and to improve. You know what the cheapest way to do that is: The Free Market. You bring me a school administrator who is smarter than The Market, and I will gladly swear my fealty to him. Score: -1

Make College More Affordable
Listen, I've been looking to buy a PS3, can I get a program to make a PS3 more affordable? I've got an idea for you: improve the quality of High School education to the point where you don't NEED a college degree for every other career out there, and let the market do its thing. More tax credits. Am I going to get a tax credit for my wife's student loans, which she's still paying? Seems unfair if I don't. I mean, why should I have to pay for the entire amount of her education AND subsidize someone else's? Score: -2

Help American Families Stay Healthy
Provide Universal Health Care and Lower Health Costs
Awesome. Obama's health care policy has its own page, and it will have its own post.

Protect Homeownership
Create a Universal Mortgage Credit
The problem is that 2/3 of Americans don't itemize their taxes. I, for example, don't itemize, because the standard deduction is more than I could come up with. This will probably change when we get a mortgage. Also, it's another credit. Why not just a cut? Why do they insist on making it a credit? Oh, I remember, because we're living in a glorious people's republic. Score: -2

Combat Mortgage Fraud and Subprime Loans
The mortgage industry IS pretty shady, and in need of reform. If the housing bubble hadn't been created, inflated, and then preserved by monetary policy... naaaah, now I'm just dreaming. Shady people were going to flock to mortgage before easy federal money started flowing into their pockets. Score: 0

Create Fund to Help Homeowners Avoid Foreclosures
Listen, listen, I need those foreclosures. Why not a fund to help me buy a foreclosed property? Why protect those people who are, by definition, in breach of contract, and not those people who stand to swoop in and get a nice new living space? I mean, it's called "breach of contract" for a reason. The net result of this would be taking MY money to give to people who have VIOLATED a contract into which they voluntarily entered, so that they can stay in property that I would be otherwise purchasing. Granted, I'm only going to buy one foreclosed house, but the more prices come down, the more I smile. Spending my own money to fight my interests is... well, criminal. Or it should be. Score: -2

Mandate Accurate Loan Disclosure
The only thing more complicated than income taxes is mortgage forms. Score: 3

Close Bankruptcy Loophole for Mortgage Companies
Well, I DO hate loopholes. While you're at it, stop bailing out banks and funds that are involved in this mess. It's just welfare for the rich, and I hate it. Let the market kill off the weaker animals, so that the herd can prosper. Score: 1

Strengthen Families at Home
Strengthen Fatherhood and Families
I like his rhetoric here, and it's a little light on implementation, so I want to give it a pass. We DO need more fathers to be involved in their kids lives, but he will almost certainly cross my GINS line on this one, so... Score: -1

Support Parents with Young Children
If you can't afford to have a kid, shut your legs! It's not rocket surgery! If you're not sure what causes pregnancy, talk to Mother, he's got it down to a science. How's that for support?! Score: -1

Strengthen Retirement Security
Create Automatic Workplace Pensions
So, he's going to force employers to open IRAs for all of their employees. Awesome, awesome to the max. He does realize that those employers will have to either lower wages or raise prices, right? Private contracts, blah blah blah... there's nothing to like here. The role of the president in this sort of thing should end with, perhaps, a letter to our nation's employers, suggesting that it might be a good idea to set something like this up, but they don't really have to. Score: -2

Expand Retirement Savings Incentives for Working Families
Oh boy, it's another Tax Credit! And I don't qualify for it! Happy day! Score: Keep your god damned hands off my money! How's that for a score?!

Completely Different: The Reddington 29

Required Reading

Perhaps by now you've heard of the Readington 29, a group of ignorant brats who chose to stage a 'protest' because their lunch is too short. Most people who are aware of the story are expressing a level of support for the kids that, if aimed at an adult, would suggest that they're considering joining a cult. Or, at the very least, suffering from Obamamania. (Regulars: don't worry, Baracktober continues soon).

Anyway, I'm not TOO far removed from school, and I remember a 30 minute lunch well. Let's assume that the facts aren't being misstated here (wild, I know), and consider that their lunch period looked like this:

1. Get from class to your locker
2. Get from locker to lunch
3. Get through lunch line
4. Eat
5. Get from lunch to locker
6. Get from locker to class

That's a lot for 30 minutes. Perhaps, depending on the size of the school and the number of kids going through that line, too much. So, why am I coming down on the kids? Allow me to introduce you to yet another made-up, numbered list:

Naginata's 3 Rules of Successful Protesting

1. Make your grievances known first


2. Do not involve bystanders


3. Control the message

The kids, sadly, failed on all three counts.

First, make your grievances known. If these kids had been in charge of the revolutionary war (hang on, I'm going somewhere), King George would have woken up one morning and said 'they think taxes are too high? why didn't someone tell me about this!'. You have to make your grievances clear. You look much better if your position is 'they drove us to this' instead of 'we thought it would be cool'. Plus, you never know, perhaps they would have gotten a few more minutes for lunch without having to cross swords with the administration.

Second, never, ever, ever involve bystanders. There were 29 kids involved in the protest, paying with pennies. There were kids behind them in line that did not get to eat. Now the story is twofold - protest brings attention to problem AND protest makes kids go hungry. Now the media can interview people who will say how disruptive the protest was to their lives, and you're the bad guy, even if you're right. Don't give the opposition (or the press) a chance to spin your message in a way that makes you look bad. Pro-life protesters, write that one down somewhere.

Lastly, control your message. This is strongly related to the second point, but I think it deserves its own bullet. These kids didn't go nearly as far as they should have to control their message. The proper protest would have been for them to place all of their money - except the pennies - in their lockers (or leave it at home). Then, they should have made sure that they were the last 29 kids in line for lunch that day. How much better is it for you if every single person who doesn't get to eat is one of your agents? Then your message is not just 'we don't have enough time to eat', but rather, 'we had to go hungry'. This one, you can repeat every single day and, since you're the one suffering, you will gain support rather than resentment from your peers.

There you go kids. You've got a bright future ahead of you, just remember the three rules... and get a job. Protesting is for weekends only.